I first met Daisy in 2002 when she was already 10 years old. Since then I dogsat for her often and wrote about her several times on this site. After 112 dog-years, it was finally time for Daisy to head into retirement. She will be missed.

Wouldntchaknow, I’m dogsitting again. I’m taking care of Allard’s dog Daisy, the world’s oldest living Pug. I always get a little nervous taking care of her. It’s hard to shake the fear that she’ll finally head for that great milkbone in the sky on my watch.

Allard: If she dies, just put her in the freezer until we get back.

Daisy has trouble standing up these days. You kind of have to lift her up and hold her there until she gets her balance, but when she stands her tail sure starts wagging! She’s old, but she’s happy.

I took her to work today and she attended our weekly company meeting. All 30 of us were sitting in a circle as Amanda and Harry outlined the current business situation. While Harry was talking about a potential project and whether or not it was a good fit for our company, Daisy waddled to the center of the circle, squatted, and told us what she thought of the project (in turd form.)

Harry: I guess we’re not doing the project.

Since Daisy doesn’t walk so well she has to be carried around in a bag. Look how happy she is in her bag!

I’m a habitual dogsitter. Seen here are two of my favorite boarders: Daisy and Latke. Daisy is a million-year-old deaf pug who belongs to Allard, Jellyvision’s art director. When I was dogsitting her earlier this year, my brother had recently gotten a puggle puppy: young Latke, who has barely cracked 6 months. Latke is a total spaz.

I thought it would be fun for them to meet. After all, dogs like other dogs, right?I brought Daisy over to Latke’s house for a playdate. Bad idea. The next hour was one of the most stressful of my life. It went something like this:

1. Latke jumps on Daisy thinking she’s playing.
2. Daisy doesn’t enjoy playing, gets agitated and tries to walk away.
3. Being old and slow, Daisy doesn’t get away and gets tackled by Latke.
4. Daisy establishes herself as the alpha dog and barks Latke into submission (pictured.)
5. Latke and/or Daisy are restrained at opposite ends of the room.
6. Latke eventually wriggles free.
7. Repeat step 1.

It was like watching a one of those little kids who’s really into professional wrestling trying to show his grandma how The Camel Clutch works. At least neither of them pooped under my desk.

It’s once again time for the International Kennel Club dog show at McCormick Place. I don’t know if I’ll make it over there again this year, but I was there last year. There are a lot of dogs — pretty much everywhere you look. If you don’t want to see dogs everywhere, it probably isn’t the place for you.

If you want to see a guy grabbing his dog’s balls for a good twenty minutes then it definitely is the place for you. We passed by a fella grooming his Old English Sheepdog (one of my favorite breeds ever since the archery scene in Disney’s Robin Hood.) He was super-nice and told us all about the breed while he delicately brushed his dog’s coat with his right hand. And his left hand? I don’t know what he was doing with his left hand, but let’s just say Chester looked a little uncomfortable. After casually wandering through the grooming area we walked past him again… and his hand was still up there! Anyone into showing dogs know what that’s all about?

My other favorite part of the show occurred at the agility competition. You may have seen this on TV. It’s basically a dog obstacle course. It was exciting to see the really fast dogs bolt through the slalom obstacle and leap over the hurdles, but most of the dogs were pretty mediocre. Some clearly had their minds on other things. One little feller decided after a couple half-hearted leaps that it was the perfect time and place to squat out a little kibble surprise.

The International Kennel Club was prepared for this. A woman wearing an official IKC polo shirt appeared carrying a bucket of cleaning supplies. I figured that she was charged with cleaning up after the inevitable accident. That was not the case. Instead she handed the bucket to the dog’s handler and watched as the handler cleaned up Sparky’s deuce. I was shocked (and incredibly amused.) Isn’t it embarrassing enough that your highly-trained dog took a crap in front of a couple hundred people? Couldn’t the IKC at least provide a crapper-picker-upper and leave the handler with a little bit of dignity? Apparently not.

By the way: Wow! Two dog poop stories in a row!

I have a terrible sense of smell. If there’s ever a gas leak, I better hope someone else is around. I also have bad tastes in smells. I don’t like the smell of coffee. I recently admitted to kind of liking the smell of horse manure. Kind of. Shut up.

Thanks to temperatures way up in the 40s, the sun is shining, everyone’s smiling, and the snow is finally melting… revealing countless piles of dog poop.

My neighborhood reeks.

Happy Poop Day!